As the sun has been shining this week one of the girls in the office suggested that we all went out this lunchtime for a picnic. At first I was slightly sceptical – we are in the middle of a concrete jungle, were we all going to camp out at a bus stop for 30 minutes while we ate our sandwiches? No, we were going to the park – which until today I had no idea was just a 5 min walk from the office (I’ve worked here for over 2 years but had never noticed!) – and we all had a fab time. It was so nice to get out in the fresh air and not be staring at a screen for a bit and we had such a giggle, it definitely did me good!
I feel extremely positive about everything today – not sure if it is the sunshine or whether I have turned a corner with the divorce but I really do feel like I have a good future ahead of me, one that I can actually enjoy and that will be fulfilling. I feel almost as if I have been living in a sort of limbo for the whole of my marriage in the sense that I never took an steps towards doing anything I wanted – be it a new hobby a holiday or a skill. I assumed that I wouldn’t have time and anyway, had so little self confidence left that I convinced myself I wouldn’t be able to do any of the things anyway.
The first thing that I have decided is that, come what may, I will be going to Egypt next year (even if I don’t have any money to do anything else at all). I was supposed to go for my 21st birthday as a present from my parents but things with Iraq were flaring up and the company who it had been booked with offered full refunds so I used the money to buy some bits for our first house instead. I turn 30 next year so I think it is time to get out there and have the trip I’ve always wanted. I’m not going to learn Egyptian though, just spend time doing some thorough research into the best value holidays and which tour guides are the best. I think I want to go on my own but not sure if Egypt is safe to ‘go it alone’ in, but will have to look into that as well. It’s really very exciting!
I have also managed to get myself a digital camera so that I can take pictures for my blog and actually have a pictorial record of what is going on in my life. To be honest, my ex and I didn’t really take a lot of pictures so I won’t have very many reminders of my past life but I want to start making memories (in the sense of do lots of things to remember AND actually having a physical reminder that it happened). I haven’t got it linked up to the computer yet but I will be doing so over the weekend.
Definitely feeling fired up now I’ve written this, the dog will get a lovely long walk later!