Christmas Eve reflections

I’ve come outside because the dog needs to complete her evening ablutions and, in her old age, she’s getting increasingly skittish in the dark and doesn’t like to venture forth alone. It’s cool but not cold, the sky mostly clear bar the wisps of cloud that fly across the sky faster than Santa’s reindeer could ever hope to manage, and Orion sparkles just above the Elder trees on the south east of the lawn. The moon is waxing full mighty, as Gran might have said, the face almost completely visible through the puff of my breath; maybe it is a little colder than I originally thought.
It feels like a night for contemplation, for making those decisions that have been put off – whether from fear of the outcome or simply because there hasn’t been time to think them through – for choosing where to go next.
Funny what a few minutes in the dark can do to my mind!
I’ve achieved a lot this year and have been blessed with several other things that haven’t sprung from any of my endeavours at all. I’ve found the things which truly fire me and, thanks in part to the myriad of wonderful people I’ve met on the Internet, I’ve discovered that I’m more than capable of making them into permanent parts of my life. I’ve studied and passed exams and have found old interests with new slants. I’ve made new friends and I’ve renewed old friendships that I’d neglected for too long but was lucky enough to catch before they withered completely. And I’ve written. I’ve written more than I thought possible and some of it has even been reasonable!
I’m lucky. I’m so lucky that I don’t quite know who to thank or what to do about it all. But what I’m not going to do is waste any of it, not one tiny speck.
So, in the cold night air, before the dog and the stars, I’m making an early New Year pledge:
I will make the best of everything that this year has given to me; the self-confidence, the happiness, the knowledge and the joy of steadfast friends. I will grab all the luck and all the blessings and make damn sure that I’m worthy of receiving them, because if I don’t no-one will do it for me. I will keep writing, keep dreaming and keep imagining and I will not stop until I’ve got where I want to be.
And, to start the ball rolling, I’m going to have a very, very Merry Christmas with my Mum and Dad and make sure they know just how much their love and support has made me who I am today.
Merry Christmas everyone, I hope it is everything you could wish for!

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