Words from the Week or "I’ve been in my pyjamas all day"

Dog is wondering if you spotted the deliberate mistake in the post last week. I however, am hoping you didn’t pick up on the fact that I said she was posing with her stuffed toy and then ended up picking a photo with no toy visible whatsoever.  I’d try to tell you that consistency is overrated but ….
Anyway this week has been good in some ways and not so good in others. We’ll talk about the good first:
I had a long weekend (Monday off) to spend with Mum and Dad, as it was Dad’s birthday. This involved much visiting of various places around the Midlands, a delicious Sunday Lunch at Goldstone Hall and quite a few games of scrabble. I suspect that many of you would be amused to learn that the last board contained the words skipper, grail, shield, widow & quim and only one of them was put down by me. I have to say introducing Dad to The Avengers may have been one of my better ideas.
Wednesday evening was spent in the cinema, with Cat, this time watching Love’s Labours Won (Much Ado About Nothing) thanks to the RSC’s live cinecasting. My review of the play is here, but the headline version is that I adored it and would happily go and see it every night for a month. Cat and I danced our way out of the cinema after – sublime music was sublime!
Cat and I are also trying to finalise the quizzes and games for the next Sherlock Holmes Midlands Meet Up, which will be on Saturday 14thMarch, from 11am onwards, at the Coffee Lounge in Birmingham. Full details are here, and we’d love to see you if you’re free and in the area. There will be prizes. And much gossip.
Today has been nice because I’ve been working from home, getting a project that that had been sitting on the back burner for a while well underway. I’ve accomplished everything I had on the to-do list for today and it’s a very pleasant feeling. I suspect the lack of phone calls, lack of office noise and the lack of 40 minutes worth of commute each way has assisted with the sense of well-being – along with being able to have regular cuddles with Dog, which has, no doubt, been the magic ingredient. I don’t often work from home because of the nature of my job, but I always appreciate it when I can. Especially given that I have, as stated in the title, been in my snuggly pyjamas for the day.
Writing-wise, I’m about on track for March (just under 4k at the end of last night). I spent a good half hour over the weekend reallocating my monthly words so that I have the weekends free for editing and one night a week off. I does mean that I have more words to spit out on the nights I’m writing but I think the rhythm of writing/editing/writing/editing actually helps my productivity and keeps me motivated in a way that YOU MUST WRITE EVERYDAY does not. I’m not going to say quite yet that I’ve found the way I’m going to write from now on, but I’m feeling very optimistic. As far as the writing projects go …
  1. My ACD Holmesfest story is still being plotted. I have managed to narrow what I’m doing down to three options but I want to mull them over before I settle on one.
  2. The short fic (which is most definitely NSFW) is almost ready to be sent out for beta. Which is good because if I want it to be part of the Let’s Write Sherlock Challenge 19, then it needs to be up before the end of the month.
  3. The RAMC meta is also on the final stretch – all the sections are blocked and filled, I’m just checking a few facts and pondering a few additions before finally hitting the post button.
  4. ANI has more backstory than story right now. I think this actually a good thing because clearly there is way more in my head about Omega!Sherlock and Mummy Holmes than I had realised. Plus the fact that there’s a lot in the omegaverse world that I find fascinating and am thoroughly enjoying exploring. No doubt 90% of it won’t make it into the story but that really isn’t the point, because I’m finding out things that I can then incorporate into my other fantasy worlds. Not that they are ones where men get pregnant, I should say, but rather were there is more patriarchal organisation – the ways my female characters and others disenfranchised by that society react against it will be informed by my work on this.
  5. I’m still waiting for my call to arms on the Come_at_once challenge. I have no doubt that the minute I press post on this, I’ll get tagged and I’ll have to pass because tomorrow and Saturday do not contain any unaccounted for hours that I might produce something readable in.
  6.  I have several other short Sherlock fics I want to get written and beta-d so that I have them read for when I want to post them throughout the year.  Not only will getting them written free up brain space for ANI and my original fic, but it’ll mean I have some things to share whilst I get through the WIPs and no time to generate anything else for posting.

Now the not so good:
My blood tests came back completely clear. Which, I realise, makes me sound like an ungrateful wretch, never mind being completely counter-intuitive. Or at least it would if I felt better. Bit I don’t. I’m still drained, achy and feeling generally rubbish, and thus a lack of diagnosis is not helpful. I suppose at least my doctor now knows what I don’t have, which means that he can look for different things, but … now I have to go back to the doctors to tell him I’m still feeling awful and then there will have be to be more blood tests, and the doctor’s appointment and the draining of my arm will take place on different days, meaning two working days will be disrupted. This displeases me because I hate having to arrive late or go early just because my body is messing me about.
Plus there’s the fact that, despite me desperately trying to be positive about everything, and keep going as normal as far as possible, I’m finding it more and more difficult. I mean, I burst into tears this morning about something I would normally handle with just a minor flash of annoyance (relating to provision of equipment to allow me to use the new telephone technology at work) and a mutter about how on earth people who have more severe disabilities than I do manage is beyond me given the lack of forethought that I often encounter.
I don’t want to admit defeat but I’m really starting to feel overwhelmed by just how much my body doesn’t want to do. It’s affecting my mental energy as well and the will to keep going is really close to being subsumed by the desire to just flop into bed and stay there until I don’t feel exhausted. I am sleeping okay, in that I get to sleep fine and don’t have trouble falling back to sleep when I wake up, but I’m waking up at least four times a night, almost paralysed by a sensation of fear. I don’t know what I’m frightened of and it takes a good ten minutes to calm myself down. Which isn’t exactly restful.
And that’s as much whining as I’m allowing myself. I will find out what the matter is and I will do whatever I need to do to get it sorted. In the meantime, I will endure.

Now, however, I must away to sort my lunch for tomorrow and then bash out my day’s words before bed. Such is life.

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